i don't know if this is home.

what constitutes as home for people? where you grew up, spent most of your childhood years, Where your family still lives, where your worst and best memories have happened?

& you never know what battle someone is facing.

i was going to write this last year..obviously that didn’t happen. so here we are.

Anyone else get the post vacation depression?

i overheard someone talking about fear the other day.

they seemed pretty into it, and i didn't want to eavesdrop tooo much..so the only full phrase of theirs i heard was 'to embrace fear'.

you know what i mean. those pesky habits, the ones that are so damn deep rooted that you don’t even realize you’re doing it.

after three years in the beautiful place, i have to say i'm surprised every day at how much i love and enjoy this city. i haven't traveled many places, but as far as a place to live, nyc has really done it right. there are good days, even great. there are bad and stressful days when getting groceries is even a day long activity. but i wouldn't trade it. i find myself very grateful to have the opportunity to live here, grow here and experience this place. 

how is this happening rn?!?! someone told me the other day that summer was over and i laughed. i laughed until i realized that it is in fact labor day next week and i 1. don't have a tan 2. will be working on my summer body well into winter 3. still have summer reading i want to do 4. don't understand how time works and why it's speeding up. don't get me wrong, fall is my ALL TIME FAV but i don't think i'm quite ready for summer to say it's goodbye.

quite possibly one of the most underrated practices even though it's gotten A LOT of press time lately. i say this because that’s true for me. i could use a damn wake up call sometimes to take a step back and realize what in my life i'm thankful for. i don’t know if it’s being in the city or social media or what, but i get in a funk or mood where i am definitely not grateful, or appreciative or realize how good i do have it. everyone has some struggle they’re going through and i’m not saying to compare your struggle to anyone else's, but instead realize your struggle and then take into account the other million things that you have to be grateful for.

plant based, animal based, no dairy, fight inflammation, no nightshades, gluten free, organic, free range, no added preservatives, no hormones, high fat low carb, macros, micros, keto, detox, alkaline, gut health, probiotics, low fodmap, no sugars, fermented foods, digestion, mediterranean, vegan, juice detox, vegan, and damn cauliflower pizza. what the health? no, more like WTAF (what the actual fuuuuuck). so what do you even eat?

it’s no secret that I’m in l o v e with italian food. if you followed me on any social media before i went low fodmap it was pizza this and pizza that. all things pasta, sauce, cheese, cured meats, cheese, pizza, carbs carbs carbs. so with this low fodmap diet it’s been harder to fulfill my cravings and boy do they get extremely strong.

so maybe the title to pt one of this -- getting your mind to shut the f* up -- wasn’t exactly the right one for this post.

i say that because after a straight 30 day meditation practice, i realized that’s not what meditation is ALL about.

why am i not a changed woman yet!? shouldn’t i see an immediate difference? a 100% change in my outlook on life, internal thoughts about myself, and desire well-being for all of humanity? The solution to world peace!?

even though our bodies (liver and kidneys) are great at detoxifying themselves, sometimes i need a boost in hitting that reset button- especially after the holidays where i tend to overindulge (to say the least). big believer in reseting, realigning, and getting my ass in check.

i don't know if this is home.

what constitutes as home for people? where you grew up, spent most of your childhood years, Where your family still lives, where your worst and best memories have happened?

central park // chelsea // west village

if gigi hadid can "eat clean to stay fit, have a burger to stay sane" then so can i.

i'm the worst.

i have so many ideas i think are great.