so maybe the title to pt. 1 of this -- getting your mind to shut the f* up -- wasn’t exactly the right one for this post.
i say that because after a straight 30 day meditation practice, i realized that’s not what meditation is ALL about. it’s funny because everyone i told about my meditation attempt (myself included) thought that meditation was 100% about getting your mind to shut the f up. in reality it was much more. but also much less than that... i'm confusing you aren’t i?
it’s much LESS than getting your mind to shut the f up because it's in the simplicity of the practice that we really thrive.
it’s more in the fact that it’s about discovery. i’ve discovered more about my life, my happiness, my stress, my weaknesses, my strengths, and my wants and needs than i have at any other time. meditating makes you look inward to take an inventory of yourself. who ever does this? i mean besides when I'm like UGHHH i drank too much this weekend let me freak out really quick and make my problems seem 10x more insane than they are, i don’t ever take a hot second to see how I'm doing.
looking inwards means a lot of different things- how you feel physically as well as mentally. are you achy? did you work out or just run into a table last night by accident? are you stressed because you have a project coming up or are you putting pressure on yourself because of a family situation? there’s a million different things that could be going on and until you take a second to be your own best friend you might not have any idea what the root of the issue feeling is.
it’s also much more than getting your mind to shhhhh because it’s not going to happen. at least not completely. your mind was made to be loud, think, analyze, help, interpret, and, sometimes, f us up. when meditating i swear i have no idea where 99.999% of the things that pop up in my head come from. the most RANDOM and I'm talking RANDOM shit comes in and out. it’s my mind’s way of trying to let go but in trying, i tend to put too much stress on it. instead of being pissed that I'm not “doing it right” when i realize i start to think, i take a moment and understand that this is O K. it’s natural. and i take my mind back to focusing on my breathing and being in moment.
it’s much LESS than getting your mind to shut the f up because it's in the simplicity of the practice that we really thrive. it does sound quite nice and simple to sit down for 30 minutes and give our brain permission to turn down and recharge. to sit down and be okay with it with whatever happens to us for that time. appreciating the moment.. i know it sounds like a dream. it’s actually possible though. after the 30 days it did get easier to be present in the 30 minute class (believe me, sometimes it doesn’t happen how you think you want but every practice is a good one) but i was more mindful in my day-to-day life. that doesn’t mean all the time, but when i would get caught up thinking about the future or the next thing, i realized it and pulled myself right back into the present.
"it’s damn hard." well you're damn right.
we're submersed in a culture where we’re moving so fast and have so much to accomplish and prove, that if you’re not putting in the time someone else is beating you to the punch. but what if we weren’t conditioned to think that way? i’m not saying we should sit on the couch all day and watch the great british bake off (if you haven’t please watch there’s something wrong w me i need to bond w someone about this) because hard work is a necessity and being rewarded for that is amazing. i'm not saying don’t be ambitious and forget about trying to run the world or that company you’ve been dreaming about. i'm saying in our day-to-day if we don’t take a moment to take a deep breathe and appreciate where we are, we’ll lose out on those moments. we’ll lose what all this “living” is for.
i got real deep on ya for a second i apologize i didn’t know this post was going there.
to wrap this up, the main things i learned from my month journey are:
- you’re good enough and no possession or person will make you happy. you are enough for your own happiness.
- don’t make your mind shut the fuck up. it’s beautiful and crazy and sometimes annoying but that means you’re a human with brilliant ideas and potential. be at peace with this and take time to recharge and instead of turning your brain off, just turn down the volume to start.
- 2017 is about me. and about you. take care of yourself- body, mind and soul. it’s the only one you’re going to get make it a good one.
- don’t beat yourself up about the past or future. we all screw up we all have things we didn't want that we got and things we want but don’t have. but we’re here putting our best foot forward and for me right now that’s quite enough.
ENJOY meditating. it seems like work at first but that’s because it’s new but trust me, it is so so worth it !!
take what you need from this and leave the rest- thanks for reading!!
** check out mndfl in new york at one of their three location and let me know what you think! i love having found a space with incredible people that have only enriched my meditaion experience.